Tali's Hangover

   Tali laughs drunkenly, swaying in her chair like Joker's making the Normandy do barrel rolls again. Her hand is sliding across the table in a dozen different directions and sending brandy in a dozen more. The only thing still dry is herself by some strange miracle. Throw her bright pink straw into the mix, and it is definitely a sight to behold. “I'm having a drink with my boyfriend,” she slurs. “My human boyfriend. My father would have hated you.”

   “Here's to him, then,” I say and raise up an imaginary glass in salute.

   She raises her drink high above her head. “And to Miranda.”

   I can't help but laugh as she tries to finish another sentence and get the emergency induction port/straw into her helmet. Neither want to cooperate in the slightest. Her words become a muddled mess of syllables that no one can decode, and the straw runs from her clutching fingers. It's almost like watching a three-year-old try to learn how to write while quietly babbling to herself. After a minute of her fumbling and me chuckling, she succeeds in swallowing the rest of the liquor.


   “Well, I need to go down to bed,” she slowly announces and stands. She's on her feet about a second surrendering to gravity. It's only by luck and reflexes that I keep her from hitting the ground.

   “I think you're going to need some help getting there,” I laugh, trying to prop her up again.

   “No, I'm-hic-I'm fine.” She pushes off me to in an attempt to get upright. But the momentum is a little too much for her: she goes from in my arms to standing to slamming into the floor in one drunken motion.

   “All right, come here,” I say protectively. I pick her up and let her curl up against my chest. “You're sleeping this off in my cabin.”

   “Are you sug-hic-gesting something?” Her hand rubs across my face, trying to be seductive and failing miserably.

   Another chuckle sneaks out of my mouth. “Yeah, that you'll be hung over like hell in the morning. I'm going to make sure you're somewhat functional.”

   “Thank you...” All of a sudden, her hand collapses back onto her chest. She goes completely limp in my arms, with her head rocking back like a rag doll. A soft snoring starts to seep from her throat, confirming she's out cold. Holy shit, she's drunk.


   I carry her to the elevator, where EDI opens the door for us. “Thanks,” I say to the omnipresent AI.

   “I assume you wish to bring her to your cabin,” she announces from some hidden speaker.

   “Please and thank you.”

   The disembodied voice handles the elevator's interface too, bringing us to the loft in a few moments. Then she takes care of the final two doors so I can lay Tali down on the bed. I let my mind form a half-dozen quick plans before deciding on the best. Chakwas should be able to help. I cover the sleeping Quarian in a few sheets and lay her on her side, in case her stomach decides it doesn't like the brandy. “EDI, run a quick sterilizer on the room while I'm gone. I'm going to get her something for in the morning.”

   “As you wish.”


   I head down to the crew deck and make a beeline for Chakwas' office. Once inside, the room's clean splendor is just as stunning as ever, with the old queen resting in her throne of a chair. She sets a datapad down before turning to me. “Can I help you, Commander?” she asks in that lovely accent of hers. Nowhere near as attractive as Tali's, but still nice.

   “Can I get a few antibiotics and painkillers for Tali?” I ask.

   She nods and stands. “Is there something I should know?”

   “She's passed out drunk in my room. First time I've seen her seriously drink, and she got down almost an entire bottle of Turian brandy.”

   “My word.” She retrieves a pill bottle from a cabinet overflowing with identical clones. How she keeps all of those things straight is a mystery to me. “These will help her in the morning with the headache, as well as the nausea. Why do you want antibiotics?”

   “I'm planing on taking her mask off and laying her next to a pot. If she pukes in that helmet, it'll be all kinds of gross.”

   “Probably a wise idea.” She produces a small syringe and needle, placing them in my palm with the pills. “There will be a small area for injections on her left forearm. Give her this shot before you take off her mask. Be sure to sterilize the room, and don't try to do anything to her while she's asleep. There's no telling how the Turian drink will react to your system. Have her take two pills when she wakes. The instructions are on their labels in case you forget. And if any complications arise, bring her down to me immediately.”

   “Got it, Karin. Thanks.”


   I'm halfway out the door when her voice stops me in my tracks. “Just a moment. There is something that may be of interest to you. It's about Tali.”

   I pull an instant 180. “What? There something I should be worried about?"

   “No, no. Not at all,” she says, waving her hand dismissively. “Just something I thought should be brought to your attention. I've been running tests on everyone on the ship since their arrivals, back to the original Normandy. Nothing invasive; just basic scans and readings to watch for any arising issues. There's no telling what you can encounter in your never-ending fire fights on God-forsaken planets. Anyway, I've noticed a pattern on Miss vas Normandy's charts. It's her immune system.”

   “What about it?”

   “On a hunch, I exposed samples of her immune system to different types of organic tissue. With the samples taken during her times on the original Normandy and under Cerberus, the cells would die the moment they came in contact with the foreign tissue, like when a cold breaks through a system and infects the host. This is what causes her to become sick after each contact with you.”

   I shrug. “So? Quarians have always had a crappy immune system, Tali included. What's the big revelation?”

   She folds her arms across her chest. “The latest samples from her aren't dying. They're winning.”


   The words hang in the air while my mind tries to process them. I finally throw my hands up in surrender. “Ok, run that by me again. What do you mean by 'winning?'”

   “I mean that Tali's immune system is becoming strong enough to not react to your tissue presence. She might not have those horrible sickness symptoms after she comes in contact with you outside her suit.”

   It's quiet for a few seconds while I search for words. The best I can do is “... Are you saying that Tali might be able to live without her suit?” in a quiet mutter.

   She shakes her head with slight disappointment. “No. Her immune system still loses the fight more often than not, and the only significant change is only to your tissue. Even with other dextro-amino races or humans that she's spent time with, such as Garrus and Ashley, the reaction is almost as bad as new samples. It fights better with familiar samples, but it's the difference between a four day and a three day flu. Soon enough, though, she won't need it around you.”


   “How soon?” I ask, sounding a lot more desperate than intended.

   She shrugs. “A few weeks, a month, maybe. I'm not sure. I'm not much of an expert on Quarian physiology. You just have to be patient, Commander.”

   I sigh and order my brain to calm down. “I know, I know. I'm getting ahead of myself. It's just... It's Tali, you know?”

   She nods with a smile. “It's quite alright, Shepard. 'Love is like ambition, impatient of both obstacles and delays.' And you two are very much in love.”

   I give up a grin. “Thanks, Karin. You just made my day.”

   “Any time,” she chuckles as she returns to her seat.


   I almost forget to grab the pot on my way to the elevator, making me double back a few feet. But Chakwas' pep talk put me in a much better mood, so even the minor inconvenience leaves me smiling. From there, it only takes a few heartbeats for the elevator to bring me back to the cabin.

   “The room has been successfully sterilized, Shepard. Tali's vitals are strong, and she is still asleep,” EDI announces as I enter.

   I give her a short nod, though it's probably pointless. “Thanks, EDI. Tell Engineering Tali's spending the night here. Just leave out the part about being drunk, please.”

   “As you wish,” she says.


   When I reach Tali, I slide her to the edge of the bed and set the pot under her head. I give her the shot in the marked zone of her forearm, highlighted by a thin red line. The suit almost grabs the needle and pulls it into the position it wants, then drains the antibiotics. My guess is the suit has its own system for dispersing emergency injections, probably with another needle under the fabric that goes into the crook of her elbow. As if to confirm the theory, she groans from the sting of medication. I wince a little and send the empty syringe into the garbage.

   I double check the steps in my mind one last time before reaching for her mask. Sterile room, check. Meds, check. No one else in the room, since she's terrified of anyone else seeing her face, check. Alright. I let my fingers run across her jawline, finding the two button-like clamps holding the visor to her helmet. The room fills with a small hiss as her mask falls into the palm of my hand and her face reveals itself. She's still out cold, to the point that her pale eyelids don't even twitch in the fresh air. If it wasn't for the slight scent of Turian alcohol on her breath, I'd assume she was just asleep. She's cute like this. The asleep part, not the drunk part.

   I feel a slight smile grow in the corners of my mouth. I don't even know why. There's just something about her face... Something about it that just sets my heart at peace. It always has, even that very first time. I think it might be more the fact that it's her face instead of some Fornax sex appeal. I don't mean she's not pretty; she's more than beautiful by any standards. But I've seen a lot of attractive women, and... none of them can even hold a candle to her. None of them have ever made me feel the way I feel about her. A way that can only be described in little five words. I break down and give her a little kiss on the forehead. “I love you, baby girl,” I whisper, even though she can't hear it.

   I wrap her in covers and sheets before getting ready for my own slumber. Brushing my teeth with an oral sterilizer and shedding down to jeans and undershirt only take five minutes, even with folding the old clothes up and out of sight in the closet. When I crawl into bed, it takes every ounce of will power I have not to pull her in close to me. We haven't shared my bed since we had to... go our separate ways. Add that with the inevitable hangover when she wakes up, and it just isn't a good idea. Maybe in the next few days... Tomorrow night, we'll be hitting Cerberus. We're getting close to the end again... But for tonight, she's here by me. That's more than enough. I pull some of the sheets over myself and drift off for the night.


   A sound wakes me up hours later. I shoot up in bed, scanning the room in blurry vision to find the disturbance. Eventually, I make the connection that it's the shower. Why the hell is it running at... What time is it? Four. Who takes a shower at four in the freaking morning? I look over, and Tali's gone from the bed. The sheets are still warm, though... That'd explain it. Little surprised she even figured out how to work the shower: she never took any when she was up here before. Still, I stumble my way over to the bathroom and knock.

   “You ok in there, Tali?” I ask.

   “Oh, Keelah...” she groans through the door. “Please knock softly.”

   “Welcome to the wonderful world of hangovers, baby girl,” I chuckle. It occurs to me there's no towel in there, and she probably doesn't want to work herself back into her suit. I dig into my closet, grab a towel, a pair of loose sweats, and a relatively thick white undershirt. I throw Chakwas' magic morning-after-alcohol pills atop the stack and carry it back over to the door.

   This time, I'm sure to knock quietly. “I've got a few things for you. I'll bring them in. Don't worry: I promise I won't look.” I open the door with my foot, covering my eyes with one hand and holding her pile in the other. “Here's a towel, along with some clothes and headache meds.”

   “Thank you,” she says. I feel her wet fingertips graze mine as she takes the supplies. “I'll be out as soon as the medicine and shower start working.”

   I laugh to myself and roll back into bed. Countless technological advances from space are at our disposal, and the best cure for a hangover is still a shower and painkillers. Go figure.


   Ten minutes later, she comes out mostly dried and looking tired as hell. The sweats are a little too big for her, but the drawstring in the front keeps them from falling off. And the shirt fits her surprisingly well: it covers her while just barely outlining her curves. It's not a bad look, minus the exhaustion in her pale eyes. “Did the medicine help?” I ask.

   “Not nearly enough,” she moans, shuffling to the foot of the bed and crawling on. “I swear I will never touch alcohol again. Ever.”

   I can't resist chuckling at how pitiful she seems right now. I post myself up and lean my back against the headboard. “I guess I'll have to find a new drinking buddy when we win this war, won't I? That's probably a good thing.”

   “Why?” She finally reaches me, rotates 180, and lays against me. My neck becomes her pillow and my torso is back support. I wrap a gentle hug around her stomach.

   “Tali, I've seen marines on leave after Elysium that were less shit-faced than you. You do not understand moderation with alcohol at all.”

   “Oh, Keelah. Tell me I didn't do anything embarrassing.”

   I'm tempted, for just a moment, to mess with her and say she did something really stupid. But I take pity. “Not a bit. You gave me a short lecture about hating Miranda, then respecting her, then complaining about your father and how he'd hate me. Although there are two slightly embarrassing messages on my omni-tool I don't think I can delete. You need to fix your spell check.”

   “Mmm...” she moans softly. She closes her eyes and leans more on me.



   “Aaron?”

   “Yeah?”

   “Why did I wake up here? Did we...”

   “No, Tali. I'd never take advantage of you like that.” I pull her in a little closer and put my chin in her still-wet, raven black hair. “You passed out in the lounge. I carried you up here, gave you some antibiotics, sterilized the room, and took off your mask in case you got sick. That's all.”

   “Thank you.” She rotates her head, removing my chin rest. However, the trade off for an amazingly tender kiss is more than fair. I feel her smile as I return the pressure into her lips.

   We stay like that, softly glued together, for a few heartbeats before she pulls back. “There's no more brandy; I sterilized while I was in the shower,” she whispers.

   I smile. “I did all the same last night. I guess we're free from the suit for the next few hours.”

   “Good,” she giggles. Her lips press against mine again.


   She turns her head back to where it was and uses my cheek as a pillow. My eyes close while I keep the hug around her stomach. She wraps my hands in a gentle grip. I feel her thumbs rubbing across the tops of them, her soft skin on mine. The sound of her heartbeat echoes in my ear, a quiet rhythm I absolutely love. We've never done this before: just sit together outside of the suit. I remember every inch of her body from our first night, but... it feels just as good to hold her against me.

   “I love you, Tali,” I whisper.

   “I love you too, Aaron,” she whispers back.

   We sit like that for who knows how long. Everything else in the galaxy becomes nothing more than background noise, worth none of the attention we would normally pay it. The sound of our heartbeats and the rhythm of our breathing becomes the only thing in our own little world, safe and far away from everything. And we are just fine with that.


   After a while, I feel her chest rise a little more than usual, probably from a slightly deeper inhale.

   “Could I have one request? It's just something I want to know.” Her voice is barely a mutter, not even enough to drown out the bubbling of the fish tanks.

   “Anything,” I murmur in her ear.

   “Can you tell me why?” she asks softly.

   “'Why?' what?”

   “Why you love me?”

   My heart freezes in my chest. “Wh-What kind of question is that?” I ask, trying to sound joking but coming off scared.

   She rotates her head, bringing her eyes up to me. Her forehead starts to rest against mine. “Ever since you said you wanted me, I've always wondered why. You could have been with anybody you wanted on the ship. You could have chosen anyone you could share a meal with, feel their skin everyday, make love to without medications and precautions. You could have been with anyone... Why did you choose me?”


   Words start spilling into my brain, almost like my speeches always do. This one feels different, though. More sincere, maybe, and it's all coming straight from my heart. I don't know how, but I think I know exactly what to say. “It'll take more than a little explaining. You sure you want to hear it all?”

   She nods. “Every word.”

   I pull her in a little closer and make sure my eyes stay in hers. “Let me start with why I wanted to be with you in the first place. My family had a saying: 'Always be with the one who would be your best friend if they weren't your lover.' You and Garrus have always been my best friends, all the way back to the SSV. You were funny, you were smart, you were tough, you were a good person. And you were loyal. That meant more to me than anything. You stuck by me through everything. It meant you cared about me too. You were a good friend, which is something I don't get very often. That's why I was interested in you in the first place.

   “After that, there was the obvious physical attraction. You're cute, you're adorable, you're sexy. You're just beautiful to me. That suit, your curves, the way you carry your shotgun, that perfect butt you've always had.”

   She giggles a little at the last joke. “And I loved hearing you laugh. It was perfect. Everything about you made me want to just watch you forever, even if we were getting shot at at the same time. You remember that time we were helping Zaeed, at that giant refinery? When we were talking and you were watching that waterfall, I couldn't take my eyes off you. I can't remember a word he said, but I remember how amazing you looked. That was just perfect.

   “And then I started to see the you that no one else ever saw. I saw how sweet you were, all of those little fears and quirks most people never see or notice. I couldn't get enough of them. For some reason, I became obsessed with learning about you. Just watching you was enough for me. I loved watching you twiddle your fingers when you were nervous, curse to yourself in Keelish when something wasn't working for you, encouraging your combat drone while it tortured mercs. I became like that Meatloaf song, It Just Won't Quit. I couldn't describe it, but you became the only thing on my mind. When you said that you had wanted to be with me, too... It was a dream come true.

   “I fell in love with you when I saw your face. I'm not trying to be cheesy or say that I only love you for your looks but... Just looking at you gives me peace, Tali. There's something about these red and white eyes, this raven black hair, even the little silver lines that run under your skin... Everything about you is perfect. I can just look at you, and all the knots in my stomach from stress and the anxiety are gone. I feel like I want to fall asleep in your arms every time I look at you. I heard a quote a while back that I finally understand. 'A man reserves his deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy.'


   “I.. I realize I didn't really tell you a reason that I love you. But I can't point out one specific reason, or even a dozen. Because I don't know. All I know is that I love you, and I never want to leave you.”

   I tilt my head back, letting me lay a kiss just under her hairline. “Does that work for an answer?”


   She brings her forehead up to mine and lays against it again. I get a perfect snapshot of a chance to look in her eyes, to really look into them. Under the pale white irises, I see something I've never seen in someone else's, something beautifully rare and amazing: love. True, pure, unmistakable, knock-you-on-you-ass love. I hope I'm giving her just as much back.

   She twists her head to the side and kisses me, letting me taste what her eyes already said. “If I have to suffer through another hangover for that, it will be totally worth it,” she giggles, only putting enough space between out lips to speak, and not a centimeter more.

   “All you have to do is ask, and I promise I'll tell you the same thing every time, baby girl. Deal?”

   She brings her lips to mine again. “Deal.”


   “You're welcome to spend the night up here.”

   “I will. Only if you want me to.”

   “I do. Only if you promise you will every night.”

   “Then I promise.”

   “Keelah se'lai...”

   “Keelah se'lai...”